Sunday, October 09, 2005

Reviewing the Food Network


The most appropriate way to kick off "Reviewing the Food Network" is with the love-her-or-hate-her-but-be-prepared-for-MTG-to-defend-her-with-an-annoying-vengeance FN darling Rachael Ray. She's perfect, but as she showed today, she isn't, but as this review will prove, that is why she is.

Show: 30-Minute Meals
Ep: "Take a Hike"
Air date: 10/9/5
Subject: Rachael Ray's Sacrifice of Perfection as a Yield to Fun

This morning, Ray is cooking portobello hoagies which are *perfect* to take on a hike where mayonnaise- and meat-free foods carry great gravity. She's making the marinade for the portobellos:

4 tablespoons sherry vinegar
2 rounded tablespoons spicy mustard
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil, eyeball it
6 ["gigando, hUUUge" -RR] cloves garlic, finely chopped
Coarse salt and coarse black pepper

(reprinted without permission from www.FoodNetwork.com, and remember, regarding these measurements, "...the food will taste better if you let your own hands and taste buds be your guide. Recipes are suggestions, not written law." --RR in 30-MM2)


...she adds the salt, and oops!, she forgot that (RR TIP!) you're not supposed to add salt to mushrooms until after the cooking as the salt pulls the moisture out and impedes their cooking process. "Everybody makes a mistake...once in a while. So what? It's just food. It'll taste good, no matter what," Rachael says, reminding us all A.) that 30-Minute Meals is a legit, no re-dos, balls-to-the-wall cooking show, and more importantly B.) of Ray's anyone-can-cook, there-are-no-rules, just-get-in-there-and-have-fun cooking mantra.

This is why Ray is America's sweetheart and isn't correctly described by any of this rachael_ray_sux bullshit. To one palmful of imperfection, whisk in 3 big spoonfuls of whimsy, add EVOO twice around the pan; yields one big bowl of perfect. That she's as hot as a bowl of stoup makes for one sweet garnish ("the big ta-da!," if you will).


In this same episode, she's toasting her hoagie rolls for the 'shrooms, and before commercial, she mentions she'd better go get those before she lets them burn, which she's wont to do. She's always talking about how notorious she is for leaving things in the oven, but never once have I seen anything overcook in that lil' retro kitchen of hers. If that happened, I'm sure she'd just scrape off the carbon and giggle. This is what Rachael Ray is all about. It's like when Baz Luhrman made Shakespeare accessible to MTV-ers.

In 30-Minute Meals 2 Rachael promises us, "a high can-do factor that makes you feel like a rock star in your kitchen." Now that I don't have to sweat the small stuff, I believe I can rock! Thank you for rocking, Rachael Ray.

posted by Matt the Great @ 10/09/2005

1 Comments:

At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home