Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week
Paula Deen: "It's Thanksgivin' time, and while the rest of the country's hunkerin' down for a long winter, we're still enjoyin' the out-of-doors. We're still in shorts. And Mama's in flip-flops!"I watched Paula Deen's Thanksgiving at Home (Savannah), and she made turducken, and that was the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week.
OK. Here is MTG's backstory with turducken: at the Walter Kerr Theater, we get a lot of annoying people who are comically dumb. No seriously, we keep a book of the dumb things they (and we) say. Our feisty, little ticket taker Brandon and his saucy coworker Elizabeth Taylor (for real) discovered turducken and immediately applied the term to a special type of Excuse Me that needed that extra special flourish of insult. An Excuse Me, of course, is any ticket holder for any given art performance ever ("Excuse me, where's the restroom?" Excuse me, I need a playbill." "Excuse me, where can I get the hearing devices?" "Excuse me, there's an excessively large woman in the seat next to me." "Excuse me, where is your handicap facility?"). And somehow, we got to usin' this Southern delicacy of turkey, stuffed with duck, stuffed with chicken to describe these people.
Yes, I'm a vegetarian, and yes, this is, like, the most offensive meat dish ever, but it represents something so wonderful. It's so trailer chic. So where on Manhattan would you find it? At a hip place in a trendy neighborhood neighborhood.
Makin' the turducken's pretty easy. We see all three animals sliced open and sprawled out on Paula's c
uttin' board. She stacks them and seperates them with layers of stuffin' (key ingredient: 2 sticks of butter). As her dogs Dixie and Ladybird yelp, she and her main squeeze Michael sew it all up. The bird(s) slide around in the pan, so Paula hollers, "he just got fresh with me! Bad boy!" And spanks it! After it's baked, she slices it open, and it looks like a bouche de Noel, only disgusting.
uttin' board. She stacks them and seperates them with layers of stuffin' (key ingredient: 2 sticks of butter). As her dogs Dixie and Ladybird yelp, she and her main squeeze Michael sew it all up. The bird(s) slide around in the pan, so Paula hollers, "he just got fresh with me! Bad boy!" And spanks it! After it's baked, she slices it open, and it looks like a bouche de Noel, only disgusting. And she ends the special at the table, "Alright. Don, Bobby, Brooke, Jamie, Michael, Bubba, Aunt Peggy, Connie...this is to love and family. And to all y'all out there...love and best dishes to your family on a wonderful Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgivin', y'all! Pass the turducken."
To all of Matt the Great's readers, Season's Eatings, y'all! Pass the tofurkey.
posted by Matt the Great @ 11/27/2005
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